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Post time 2019-1-16 11:41 PM | Show all posts |Read mode

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Newbie’s Guide to mobile legends

DISCLAIMER: You probably won’t learn anything but I hope it’ll brighten your day because this took me literal months lmao

Quick Intro
Mobile legends a 5v5 team MOBA game where your objective is to destroy the enemy’s giant ass crystal thingy while defending your own.

There are three lanes in mobile legends. Mid lane is generally the carry, also known as a person who gets fat by eating other people. Top and bot lane are side lanes where most team fights happen and teams have catfights where they try to commit various crimes including and not limited to: homicide, theft, bullying, harassment, suicide, attempted murder, and looting.

You see those tall tower thingies with crystals on top of them? Those are turrets. They shoot fireballs at a incredibly lazy pace which kill things. (pew pew pew) Somehow they annihilate heroes but take five years to kill minions. This is how you know which turrets are good and which are bad: Red- BAAAAAAAD. RUN TF AWAY, GET OUT. MOVE YO ASS. Blue- Chill turrets which won't attack you. Which instead kill the enemy. Very. very. Verrrry slowly. (still works though!)

These lil dudes are super effective at whittling down turrets. But against enemy heroes, they’re basically bags of money. Makes sure to get the last hit on minions to magically get even more money! WORK SMARTER NOT HARDER KIDS! (*cheats on test*)

Jungle monsters
After the recent buff to jungle monsters. In early game, you don't hunt the jungle monsters. THE JUNGLE MONSTERS HUNT YOU. By standing there, minding their own business until you come along and assault them. The most important jungle monsters give the blue buff (it's actually purple but we’re all colorblind).

Walk inside these bushes (oh god it must be so uncomfortable and scratchy and itchy and OOOF) to become invisible to the enemy until you attack them or you get attacked!

Team fight
When multiple people on your team and the enemy team show up in the same area and decide to brutally kill each other. Usually ends with casualties. But everyone resurrects in this game anyways so whatever.

That map that you always thought wasn’t too useful. But then you realize you can drag it around to see skill effects and sound effects from the enemy to pinpoint their position so you can assault them or run away from them. Or you can never bother looking at it and treat it as decoration- ooh pretty!

The Classes
There are a total of 6 classes/roles in this game. Each with their own priorities to help their team. Unless they’re trollers, stupid trollers. (me getting salty after remembering a game where the enemy akai built a assassin build)

These big hunky thicc hard pieces of flesh, plant material, rocks, metal are the meatshields to your team. (except lolita, because lolita is a queen) No one ever wants to pick them because taking damage is stressful, leading teamfights is stressful, you don't do a lot of damage, you’re nearly useless in many 1v1 situations, and also your farming abilities are almost nonexistent. People who play tanks are the real MVPs and every squad (like mine) is desperate for a tank main. (update like 5 months later: we now have two tank mains, woot woot)

These melee, close range fighters have a flexible build. Some choose between being super tanky, super lethal, or balanced. Also, they tend to be picked as an alternative to tanks. Because, once again, no one actually wants to tank.

Easily the most entertaining, exciting, stressful and hardest class to play in the game. You wait patiently (no one actually has the patience of more than 3 seconds) and then attempt to take out a squishy target. Their greatest enemy is CC (crowd control, like a stun) and burst damage.

More or less magical glass cannons and ranged fighters. Usually can only attack every few seconds because they actually have to reload, UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE. Cough marksmen cough. cough where the heck do they keep all that ammo cough

Also known as ADC. Often the most picked class out of all classes in lower ranks. Why? Because a marksmen’s main damage output is from their basic attacks. No cooldown, spam attacks, does huge damage late game, takes minimal skill and low risk of dying when you have a good tank or melee fighter as you stay in the backlines. (Pew. pew. Pew. dead) However, they’re often squishy as hell and die easily.

Along with tanks, supports are often not picked because of the same problems with tanks. Supports are often a lot squishier and are only strong with a good teammate.


Saber- He looks for a worthy opponent. He’s the best sword fighter in the universe. He can make flying swords orbit him. His greatest weakness? Not having his ult. Because without his ult, he’s more or less useless.

Karina- A dark elf gone good. Specializes in flying across the map instantly slicing people up and giving them COMBO haircuts. Starting at the neck.

Fanny- super badass scary toxic abusive monstrosity that literally flies better than any hero in the game with wings. Fanny by name. Fierce by nature.

Hayabusa- The shadow ninja. He mastered the art of getting OH SO DEEP inside of you and killing you inside out. In his free time he makes sushi.

Natalia- Stalker girl. Bush monster. Vape queen. Professional back scratcher. She loves hitting it from the back and giving heart attacks. Her best friend is the bush. Her worst enemy is aldous’s stupid rocket ult. And she screams a really effective SHUT UP BISH.

Lancelot- The super fashionable knight that everyone thinks is gay. He walks in high heels and his hair is as long as his girlfriends. He gives really good piercings and is a drag queen in his free time.

Helcurt- KILL. KILL. KILLLLLL. He literally does not give a crap about your day. He is the night. He’s super salty that batman stole his title from him. And he runs on all fours. Also he’s so ugly to look at everyone stops talking around him. But he’s beautiful on the inside.

Gusion- This guy thinks he’s good enough for lesley. He thinks he’s sooooo good. He competes with lancy on who gives the best piercings. He has so many daggers because he keeps them in his pants. But he likes the feeling of them stabbing his privates. It’s a kink and we don’t kink shame in 2019

Selena- She’s bipolar. She summons demons to attack her enemies. When she’s pissed off her turns into female goku. She’s the mean girl in your school. And she’s completely two-faced. Her stuns longer than your (insert male genital here).

Hanzo- Stolen from overwatch and turned into a creepy demon with a massive sword. I present you the much better and improved argus. He shoots thorns, has deadly ninja attacks and for his ult, he fights with his soul. Yes. a literal freaking ghost pops out his chest and goes on to launch a kamikaze attack on your team.

Tigreal- This buff man is a tank. He has a massive sword and shield yet he doesn't do good damage. His passive is useless but his ult is so enticing that everyone gravitates towards it.

Akai- This giant furry spins himself “right round baby right around” into people and rapes them against walls. He’s the last frog bender and his master is a tiny frog. He loves binge eating (RELATABLE). And when he gets angry he sits on people. He gains a shield every time he casts a skill because he pops snacks into his mouth every time he attacks.

Franco- This beer guzzling Viking is the worlds most wanted catfisher. He gets laid by disguising himself as a super hot guy and lures innocent people to his home. Where he performs his kinky BDSM on them. After a while, he got bored of it. So he’s traveled to the land of dawn to LITERALLY hook people and beat them up with his super kinky techniques.

Minotaur- He has anger issues. When he gets mad he supersizes himself. Every. Single. Part. Of. Him. He SMASHes enemies up into the air and somehow his roars have magical healing properties. *ah someone just shot a hole through my head! I need healing! (minotaur comes over and roars and suddenly the hole is patched up)*

Lolita- This teenager got the best grades in school. She has a super-powered hammer which she uses to bop people on the head. She has high standards and doesn't want people hurting her or her friends. So she got a shield which eats all projectiles like saber’s swords. (I’m not kidding, that shield will literally eat the damn swords, like they’re gone after hitting her shield) Then she flings energy blasts back at her enemies. She is the true loli.

Johnson- He’s a psychopath who has an irresistible need to crash himself into others like the car that crashed into him. Also, it’s his dream to be able to supersize himself into a giant transformer so he can crush his enemies.

Gatotkaca- Introducing a man who likes punching people, jumping on people, and taunting people. What a sweetheart. He’s also super modest, always screaming things like I. AM. LEGEND! And he sounds like his voice was metallicized.

Grock- This giant piece of rock has the magical ability to grow. He carries his home around with him and builds walls faster than trump. With his ult, he uses himself as a super lethal almost unstoppable battering ram.

Hylos- a magical unicorn whose specialty is slowly killing everyone around him with radiation. He pummels his ax into people’s heads and his ult makes him run FASTERRRR.

Uranus- A bunch of pieces of metal glued together by aether magic. His passive allows him to regen his health… so basically he polishes himself and makes himself shinier as people attack him. He generates an explosive magical shield and his ult makes him shoot laser beams and reminds everyone of a rubber band.

Belerick- A plant who doesn’t fear fire. The sweetest plant pokemon. He wraps people in vines, shoots vines, creates a magical aura of damage absorption. And his passive stings like hell. Basically, when someone attacks him, he whips them quickly with a ninja vine.

Balmond- He’s in love with his ax. He spins her around in a beautiful dance of death. Except its really not that beautiful because things die. He eats minions and his ult is basically smashing his girlfriend miss axalana so hard he kills everything that witnesses the horror.

Khufra- The mummy King of the desert. Except he has extendable arms for long range slapping ability. He’s super ugly. He turns himself into a slingshot and when he hits you, he knocks you up. And he has the ability to turn into a bouncing ball that will destroy the universe.

Alucard- everyone thinks he’s Dracula. But the truth is… alucard is just a guy that has a kink for blood. He loves blood. He leaps across the map, following his prey to cut them open and guzzle their blood. He sweeps, jumps, and unleashes shockwaves from his massive blade. Ummmm, that's bout it.

Bane- He’s a squid crab pirate. He gets wasted and vomits all over the place. He has a built-in cannon in his crab claw and sends attack sharks to nibble at your heroes toes. ( SHARKIE! ATTACK! )

Zilong- This hero has died more than any other hero in the game. He thrusts REALLY well with his spear and flips people over his head. And his ult makes him burst into flames and unbelievable power. Which he uses to run away in bad situations. I mean, how many times have you heard him scream: Heroes never die! And run away faster than your blink skills?

Freya- Despite freya technically being the goddess of love from norse mythology. This Freya is the goddess of War. Despite being immortal, she can, in fact, die just like any other hero. She prefers to fight with a sword and shield when she could probably summon a million arrows to pierce her enemies. She jumps on people, stuns them by bashing her shield into their face. Creates glowing balls around her (too bad they’re sooooo useless, no offense frey frey). And for her ult she grows massive wings to make her more intimidating, yet she doesn’t fly and she fights with one massive ax which she makes by slapping her shield onto her blade tip. Because that makes total sense.

Chou- kung fu fighting… pow! Fast as lightning… IGNORE MY SINGING. ANYWAYS. Chou specializes in ignoring cc because hes steady as rock. (aurora turns him into a ice cube… He dashes away cackling evily) He hits like a small truck. His fists are constantly on fire (yet they dont burn). And he has a kung fu kick. And he has a strong need to be a stereotype where he screeches when he attacks.

Sun- The mischievous monkey king. He creates clones of himself and throws his mighty… cudgel. Thats really it tbh. He creates clones. Ummm. maybe he just thinks hes so hot he makes clones of himself so he can admire them. Maybe its much better than looking in a mirror.

Alpha- The ultimate weapon. His spear of light brings terror to his enemies. And his bestie beta flies around shooting alongside of him. He has great spell vamp and still strong even after being nerfed a ridiculous amount. He has a thing for girls so he’s definitely a teenager even though he has a goatee. WOW HORMONES. I CANT HELP BUT THINK SHE’S HOT.

Rubae, er Ruby- Once upon a time. There was a psychopath little girl dressed in red. She carried a giant scythe with her and ate wolf hearts. She dances around slicing and slashing up her foes. Making happy endings by covering the ground with the blood of her enemies. Then. She uses the blood to summon the devil which she makes deals with to give her even MORE LIFESTEAL MWAHAHAHAHA.

Hilda- despite being a cavewoman huntress, hilda is considered more of a tank than a fighter. EVEN THOUGH ALL OF HER SKILLS ARE DAMAGE BASED. She lugs around a giant axe, she has massive rippling muscles, her badassness is way over 9000, she has the magical ability to gain shields and regenerate her health inside bushes, when shes about to die she heals almost all the way back up, and she never, EVER goes to the gym.

Lapu Lapu- probably one of the most underrated fighters in the game. He has a dash, he has a slash, he throws blades and combines his two blades into one massive blade. Then he can create massive SAWBLADES to rupture from the earth and cut through the ground to get to their target. He has a more lethal dash with his big blade and slices everything around him with his ult form ult. 6 skills, massive buffs, great passive, excellent damage even without many attack items. Yet underrated. Oh and like helcurt he yells KILL KILL KILLLLL

Roger- mister lone wolf here. Has a big gun, but specializes in combat by turning into a werewolf and snarling like a maniac. Woof woof. He turns into shadows and flickers across the map to hunt his prey. Melee or ranged? Roger has got it down.

Argus- tbh, more or less the male version of freya. Just with a slightly different set of skills. HES IMMORTAL. Yet he dies all the damn time. Just when you think you got him down. He grows wings and becomes “immortal”. But then you just casually walk away for five seconds and go back and kill him. Argus is immortal who?

Jawhead- a little girl rides this badass robot gifted to her by her mommy and daddy. It shoots rockets, throws people around, locks onto enemy heroes and flies across the map to reach its target. Hits with the force so strong everyone goes flying away from the person hit. And just in case, it has an ejector seat for lil alice. WE LOVE ALICE YES WE DO. WE LOVE ALICE, HOW BOUT YOU. AWWWWWHHHH ALICE.

Martis- He’s conquered 3000 worlds and hasn’t met a single worthy foe, he's a lonely boy like saber. His blades are his teeth, he slices and dices and stabs. And when he's slashing people up with his second skill, he's so focused he ignores all crowd control. Very. very. Irritating

Aldous- Moontons very own knock off super salty one punch man. He punches, he smashes, he creates magical shields. But his specialty is turning into a pillar of stone and becoming a homing missile. He cant kill everything in one punch. But two or three is good enough

Leomord- My (edit: not sure anymore) current favorite fighter, whose unfortunately not a girl. He’s depressed. He’s suicidal. He got the BEST emo hair. He grants himself shields and has a lethal charge up far ranged attack. He got a dash. And his ult makes him summon his horse. His horse is a bad bish, she gives no f**ks. She charges right through everyone and then he rides on to kill people. Barbiel goes neigh and ruptures the ground and rams people.

Thamuz- GRAND LORD LAVA. HE HOT. HE THICC. HE SCARY AF. HE’S ON FIREEEE. ITS THAMUZ. He throws his scythes! He causes lava to rupture from the ground! He drags enemies to him. He lands with the explosive force of an eruption! And his ult makes him a lethal mobile heater. He’s LIT if you know what i mean. God why did I use so many caps.

Minsitharr- Pronounced MEN-SIH-THAAAAHHHHRR. You really got to stretch out the ahhhr. His passive is basically, team looting and pillaging. For every enemy you or your teammates kill, the whole team gets gold coins showered onto them from the heavens. HIs first skill makes you into a shish kabob, his second skill gives head injuries. Finally his ult is “SIT DOWN. BE HUMBLE”, also known as. “Stop moving so much and let my minions that appeared out of nowhere poke you with sharp sticks! Hahah!”

Badang- His fists are unstoppable. If you need something punched, he’s your man. He rushes people at such force that he creates rock formations around them. Where he can then brutalize them against the wall. He hits so hard and so fast that badang using his ult on you, it’s like being punched into play doh.

Alice- Queen of the apocalypse, master of blood magic, drinks blood, gives blood, blasts blood. Makes you wonder where she got all that blood and how tf she’s drinking blood from her ult. She’s always asking about a man named jack. She has a set of badass wings. She cant fly but she can teleport… THROUGH BLOOD!

Nana- The cat/racoon girl that everyone still considers as a support. Highly immobile, but throws a lethal boomerang. She’s excels in the arts of massive boomerang throwing. Being cute as hell. Throwing Molinas at people and turning them into cats. And summoning giant paw prints to stomp on the world.

Eudora- She’s electric. She’s stunning. And full of (shocking) surprises. She’s got electricity, more electricity and EVEN MORE ELECTRICITY. She’s always looking for a drink. She levitates through the air, but moves slower than EVERYONE. You wonder why she cant levitate herself higher or faster. (why can’t she levitate higher or faster?)

Gord- He ain’t a monster. He’s a DEMON. He got the balls. A lot of balls. Big bouncy balls. Big bouncy balls that explode and make squishing noises when they land. He summons circles of magical… umm… cancerrrrr? He’s a wannabe super saiyan so he stole their kamehameha as his ult. And the more times he consecutively hits someone, he deals true damage.

Kagura- She’s a teenager running around with an umbrella that has millions of souls trapped inside of it. She’s a master of the art of ying and yang. Her umbrella is razor tipped and slices right through people. She’s magically bonded to her umbrella and can become one with the umbrella. For her ult she turns up her umbrella and a lotus flower appears (i thought you said there were demon souls no lotus flowers wtf). And she can attach tendrils of energy that pull enemies into her umbrella. Theres no science that explains that but magic. Sooo….. Ooooh spooky.

Cyclops- He’s a tiny alien magical one eyed midget running around with stuff attached to his back. He looks small, but he’s lethal! He can shoot flat discs. He can summon tiny aimbot balls. And generate balls that somehow increase in size and trap people inside hourglasses…. I mean, it sounds cool but let's be honest. His “powerful” magic lasts for like 1-2 seconds. Which is really all you need to murder someone.

Aurora- Mobile legend’s version of Elsa. Colder, harsher, and more dominant. She throws snowballs that explode on impact, she generates ice out of nowhere to impale her target. She summons giant glaciers out of the sky to smash people. Her passive can turn you into a popsicle. But her most amazing talent. Is that she’s basically a walking air conditioner and she can “walk” at speeds up to 310 in high heels. Much wow

Vexana- She’s the undead queen of the abyss. She creates puppets and raises zombies from the dead. Her first skill gropes it’s target and (I quote from shinmen takezo’s funny af video) hits all the right places, making her targets spin around in satisfaction. Her second skill makes the ground explode in abyssal energy, which does a LOT of damage. Her ult gives a single target cancer and then she makes a puppet out of her enemies. Which she drags around with her to kill enemies. And her passive infects people with death and makes them EXPLODE in satisfaction. Because…. um … death feels really nice when it’s deep inside of you… wow… okay everyone scroll down and forget you ever saw this!

Harley- When he’s not talking about how talented, and good looking he is. This shortstack is throwing poker cards that somehow kill people. He can magically fit inside his own hat, and teleport with it, because thats how hats work. (I’m gonna go buy me a fedora and see if i can teleport.. In STYLE) For his ult, he lights it’s up up up, light its up up up, light it up up up, I’m on fire! Wait no, you’re on fire, and its like setting a time bomb on you. And finally, for his passive, it’s called: I’m too good for doing normal physical damage so I do magical damage instead! Haha suckers!

Odette- Y’all I just realized her name is spelled with only one d. Anyways. This pretty- no ridiculously stunning lady is known for her way too beautiful skill effects and skins. Her first skill is called: how could something so beautiful hurt so bad? Her second skill is: It’s so pretty I feel like I can’t move! Oh wait, I literally can’t move. And her ult: It’s so incredibly gorgeous even though it’s killing me. I almost don’t want to cancel it so I can bathe in it’s glory! Also I’m not quite sure if I should run away or attack. And finally, her passive is why tf does her singing kill people?

Zhask- he’s a gross (badass) looking alien bug monstrosity that doesn’t like doing work. So he makes his minions do it for him. He makes bugs (I actually don’t even know what the heck it is) grow out of the earth that shoot laser beams. He shoots slightly more intimidating lasers, he plant’s “mines” that explode… into… um… whatever that stuff is. And his ult makes his minion the most intimidating thing in the battlefield. Lord? Who cares about lord? If that old zhask bug was still a thing where he could summon endless spawns? Ha. autoban forever

Pharsa- Introducing the blind lady that was my second main back when i first started. So I have to give her a good rep. Her first skill allows her to dissolve into mist and bond with her husband ferri. Her bird bae. Then she can fly around the map and even out of the map! Have a problem and you’re being ganked? Fly out of the map! Fanny flying towards your face? Fly out of the map! Aldou ulting you? Fly out of- wait i dont actually know if that would work. (edit: I'm pretty sure it doesn't work ;() Anyways, her second skill is called super basic aoe damage skill. And her ult is WHY IS THE LADY LEVITATING AND WHAT IS THIS GIANT CIRCLE ON THE MAP AND WHY AM I BEING NUKED AND WHAT IS ATTACKING ME. IT HURTS SO BAD. Oh and every ten seconds, she tells her bird bae to wing slap some innocent soul in the face. You honestly think she’d be in the meta but pharsa gets stuck in one place when she’s ulting.

Valir- His runs around barefoot and his feet don’t hurt from all that running. His first skill is a basic aoe attack where he instantly makes a area explode into fire. His second skill is known for being incredibly annoying. He basically pushes you back with fire, you’re running towards his face? BACK OFF PEOPLE, MY MANS TOO COOL FOR YOU. And his ult is where he turns the ground into a volcanic field and everything gets blown into the air. And his passive is “thought I was out of skills? PSYCHE”

Chang’e- Look it’s a little girl riding a moon! Oh my god she’s so cute! Yet did you know she has the potential to be the most powerful character in the game? At max stacks. She has a base bonus of 5500-8000 magic damage. Anyways. Her first skill forces people to bond together by summoning a mini vortex. Her second skill shoots five energy blasts. If three hits, she achieves a stun. And her ult is basically a bunch of homing rockets. Cough cough aimbot hacks

Lunox- A girl who's way too freakin old and yet still gorgeous. Just as bipolar as selena. Her passive lets her ignore cooldown buffs and turn it into double resist and penetration. Oh she’s in light form? LOL TAKES NO DAMAGE MID GAME. Now she’s in dark form? She’ll melt your tanks. Her first skill lets you see the light. Her second skill shoots a chaotic energy blast towards you. (even though it’s kinda smooth) her third skill is a basic large aoe attack. Her light ult lets her dissolve into light and tell every character to GTF away because you just got LIGHTBLOCKED. And her dark ult lets her spam her dark second skill so she can melt your tanks down even faster. (not limited to just tanks though lol)

Harith- Despite being warned by every freaking player on the advanced server that this character was overpowered. It took the normal server a total of 12 hours to realize it and start banning harith in ranked. His passive lets him recover faster from cc, but lets be honest: the best cc is continuous cc not your normal basic stuns. His first skill is: yes mages can crit too. He makes a image of him show up and when two harith energy blasts become one… YOU CRIT. (akward moment of silence) Anyways, his second skill is let me dash at you, not steal your magic damage, but generate a *ing shield that eats your damage. Oh you wanna bring friends to help you kill me? WELP, EVEN BIGGER SHIELD HEHEHHEH. Then he buffs his basic attack and melts everyone down. And finally his ult is, look ma i just summoned a massive sword and now i can dance on it and spam my attacks!

Kadita- Goddess of the southern seas. Kadita is a mermaid that’ll make you wet……..*snickers* literally. Based on the Indonesian… well i mean, she basically is the indonesian goddess of the sea. She’s joining the mobile legends roster as a gorgeous mermaid lady bent on giving you hell. Her passive is: you just spent all this effort to do damage to me? LOL WELP, HEALED, GET REKT. her first skill, let me go swimming and look pretty while i do it. Her second skill is, this is the slowest explosion in the water in the world. But it knocks you up and can be sped up with her first skill. I know you’re all wondering: whats her ult though? (ha no ones wondering that) her basically dives into the water and turns into a dolphin or killer whale at a waterpark. Basically, she puts on a show making everyone ooh and ahh. Until she ruins your clothes with water and massive waves and turn your sounds of joy to sounds of surprise.

Vale- I SHIP VALE AND VALIR. Armed with killer abs and a sexy smile. It’s vale, slowly floating his way towards the original server, letting everyone else skip him. (insert meme here: they ask if you’re okay and you’re not okay because they would never understand-) his passive is: not only can i change my skills effects but i can also FLOAT FASTER. WOOOO. This wind mage attacks with lethal wind that cuts perfectly in a straight line with his first skill. His second skill is let me just whip up a small tornado, no biggie. And his ult is: okay let me actually try and create a EVEN BIGGER TORNADO. MUCH WOW. No but like, to be honest. The whole let me choose the side effect of my skills is really cool.

Miya- What a throwback. It’s the poster girl for mobile legends, who's desperately in need of a buff. Miya specializes in shooting out left eyes from a mile away.
(Miya at a interview.)
Employer: So... What can you do?
Miya: I can shoot out a left eye from a mile away
Employer: Yes... Thats very interesting. What about right eyes?
Employer: Well?
sometimes she shoots with three arrows at a time. Telling her enemies to slow down and maybe stand still and freeze with her second skill. And finally, go ninja on you and vanish… for like two seconds before she shows back up. And finally her passive is; EVERY TIME I SHOOT SOMETHING I GET MORE EXCITED AND SHOOT FASTER AHHHHHHHH.

Bruno- This boy is really really good at kicking balls. his passive makes him crit so he can hit where it hurts the most. He kicks soccer balls, does cool slides and kicks even bigger balls! (i know this is short but bruno makes my eyes glaze over)

Clint- he used to be really hot, until his remodel. Now he’s more disheveled. But he’s really good at banging people with his passive. Every time he casts a skill, he bangs the enemy with a even more stylish attack! He drops smoke bombs IN STYLE. He dashes back IN STYLE. He throws grenades IN STYLE.

Layla- Also affectionately known as lay-lay. She’s your first ever character in mobile legends. Her passive is: you stand wayyyyy over there and i stand wayyyyy over here and spam the attack button, okay hon? Her first skill lets her shoot out a slightly more intimidating blast of malefic energy. Her second shoots out a ball and her ult lets her turn into a pokemon or mega man or samus and shoot a hyper beam. We like to nick name it; “i’m not very useful in the meta so this is my KILL STEAL LASER.” She starlights as a shampoo model

Yi sun-shin- this dude rides on turtles ships (my poor turtles). He does backflips and he shoots arrows from half a mile away. His ult lets him attack every living enemy on the map for three hits. Every now and then it steals a buff or gold crab or some lives. The thing about yi sun-shin is that if you get too close to him. He pulls out a sword and proceeds to turn you into sushi, so try not to get too close to him.

Moskov- When i think of moskov, i think of a depressed emo zombie that’s really good at throwing sharp pointy sticks. And is probably really good at making shish kebabs too. His passive is let me PENETRATE YOU WITH MY LONG… sharp spear. (i think its funny don’t judge me xD) When he uses his first skill, he teleports like two feet and gets excited so he penetrates even deeper and harder. (oh god) his second skill pins you to a wall and makes you helpless, so he can have his way with you. (oh my god) and his ult lets him shoot a single massive spear that crosses the whole map. (finally something age-appropriate)

Karrie- This freaky mutant whose probably the only black girl in the whole game is badass and awesome. Even though she has a obsession with fidget spinners… Anyways, karrie kicks ass with her lethal fidget spinner attacks. She slices up enemies with true damage every few hits and she’s a master of fidget spinners. Her first skill lets her shoot a spiky.. Energy ball? That comes to a stop after a few feet and annoys the enemy and pricks everything it touches. Her second skill lets her skip a whole foot and throw free fidget spinners while she’s at it. And with her ult. She goes into hyperdrive and throws not one.. But TWO fidget spinners at a time. She also puts her head down and runs a little faster with her sonic running tactics

Irithel- This lady rides her oversized cat as she attacks. Allowing her to attack while she moves! One problem: her range isn’t far and her cat can't decide if he wants to run away or chase so she ends up twitching back and forth until the enemy catches up and kills her. Side note: she shoots arrows and her cat roars. Plus her ult lets her switch up her crossbow to let her shoot massive explosive bolts. Makes you wonder why she didn’t do it from the beginning.

Lesley- no one knows where she lost her eye. I’m not sure anyone wants to know. Known for doing pretty amazing crit damage early game in single shots and her annoying ult. It’s lesley the lesbia- er, straight girl. She camouflages herself so if you’re not paying attention, she’ll sneak up on you or escape. She throws down grenades that hurt as much as getting a water balloon thrown at you, she even jumps back a whole inch in the process so it looks even cooler. And her ult almost always ruins the day. You’re low and recalling and an enemy lesley walks by spamming her ult? LOL GET SNIPED. You’re waiting in the bush and the enemy lesley uses her ult? LOL AMBUSH FAILED. You’re walking by and your teammate is about to die from lesley's ult? You try to body block and save them but they move a SINGLE F**KING INCH? LOL DEAD KMS. #proskillz #icrieverytime #whydidiwastemyflicker #somebody*blockherples

Hanab(ae)i- This edgy teenage ninja girl stole a massive shuriken. Which gave her the power to fire razor sharp flower petals at high velocity. Then after it smacks you in the face, it bounces off and smacks someone else in the face. And yeah it hurts really badly. (bruh, she could totally rock a flower girl skin)

Claude- The master of run and gun. The true tank killer. The ultimate marksmen that relies more on their skills than their basic attacks.claude has the power to whittle you down and hit you 20 times for every three times he actually hits you, i mean, once he gets demon hunter sword and golden staff that is.

Kimmy- She’s the first custom aim marksmen in the game. Slightly hard to control, but very fast and lethal. Her range and damage is constant and strong. Her passion is making a mess of your team as she literally rips apart your team in early game. She also murders everyone in the magic academy by blasting them with chemicals. I mean, you’d really wonder how a bunch of chemicals could beat magical spells. (Also, we should give her a paintball gun skin where her first skill is just several different colors of paint. Can you imagine?)

Faramis- If you die while he ults. He will resurrect you as a shade of your former self. So you can be enslaved to him for like ten seconds before you dramatically die again. Also he’s insane and bent on getting revenge.

Kaja- He puts a leash on you and makes you his pet. Then he shows you to his friends and they all beat the heck out of you. He can catch anything with his lasso, it’s literally like if wonder woman turned into a male bird human hybrid thingy. (yes, i know. I have a way with my words)

Angela- A little puppet girl that impregnates your enemies just as you’re about to kill them. Then she sends “love waves” that are actually cancer. Every time she casts a skill she become faster than before, then she goes into hyperspeed where she’s literally faster than 98% of the heroes in the game. Her early game damage is insane and her slows are off the charts. If you think about it, she can shield, heal, slow, amplify, immobilize, gank globally. That’s pretty amazing.

Diggie- It’s a little genius owl thats literally doctor who. You thought argus was immortal? LOL WELP meet diggie, he literally stays in the fight even if you kill him. He just turns himself into a semi useless egg and rolls around praying that the enemy dies. Legend says, once he rolled around on the ground and prayed so hard that the enemy base exploded.

Estes- If you wanted a mobile healing station, here's a elf king instead. He has the magical power to heal you with moonlight. He ain’t the strongest support but he’s the best healer in the game.

Rafaela- She’s an angel that descended from the heavens with incredible powers. Yet she ranks lowest in supports and lowest in heroes too. Her passive is called, i should commit suicide so I can pull a jesus christ and save everyone!. If she dies, she either turns into a kamikaze bomb or a portable medic for a few seconds.

(They should rework her heal skill to also cure all status conditions for a second. since it’s in her lore that she can cure anything. And her passive should boost hp and mana regen for all teammates around her. Kinda like uranus healing slowly over time. And her ult should have a area buff since it’s hard to land. And her passive should keep the spirit thing. And her first skill is fine.)

This was inspired by this other mlb guide. I’ve been working on it for roughly 5 months now. I started it back when the last one was outdated, but then the last one got updated and i didn’t want to leave this unfinished. I’ve been really busy, but I’m happy to have finished this. It’s not as good as the other one LMAO but it was fun to make

Post time 2019-10-24 01:38 PM | Show all posts
You people just amazed me, thanks for doing such a resourceful discussion
Post time 2019-1-17 07:53 PM | Show all posts
this is great guide for those who are new to the game i loved it,
and thanks for sharing with all of us i hope to see lots more in the future.
Appreciate it.
Post time 2019-1-17 02:54 AM | Show all posts
those moskov jokes........thats all im saying (great funny guide)
Post time 2019-1-17 12:57 AM | Show all posts
Great work and funny!
Post time 2019-1-17 01:25 AM | Show all posts
now that is a real  guide  
Post time 2019-1-17 02:12 AM From mobile phone | Show all posts
This is quite entertaining to read hahahaha xD i like the little jokes..
Post time 2019-1-17 03:23 AM | Show all posts
This is awesome i hope it should be on pinned threads :)

Good job :)
Post time 2019-1-17 04:33 AM | Show all posts
tigreal most useless passive in the game
i will stop here for now i will continue reading later


That's actually so true, it's depressing  Post time 2019-1-17 10:46 AM
Post time 2019-1-17 08:02 AM | Show all posts
Now I'm in a good mood for working after reading your guide!


yayyyy  Post time 2019-1-17 10:45 AM
Post time 2019-1-17 11:21 AM | Show all posts
WOW effort haha
Post time 2019-1-17 04:05 PM | Show all posts
This is kind of language IS for newbies XD
I was expecting a boring and professianal guide but lol
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